It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
