I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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