I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
