she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
