it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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