I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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