One girl and one boy is just not enough.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
