I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i will never coherently bang her
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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