quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
