i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
