We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
