Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
