did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize