I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
