I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
