I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
