her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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