Jerry, you need to find god
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We named our party play list daddy issues
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
