I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
