I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
