I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
