Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
