it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
