And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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