how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
