I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
