where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
