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i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
