he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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