Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
