i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
