You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
