How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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