We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm at about main and main street
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
