i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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