dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
His hands were made for my vagina.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
