I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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