i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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