Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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