I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
