remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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