i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
