so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
