Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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