He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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