Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
