Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
