Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
