That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
