You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize