he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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