yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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