just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
