And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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