Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
