she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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