What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
