32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
