Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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