I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
