Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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